Tiger Mom!

A Chinese-American professor, Amy Chua, recently published an except of her memoirs in which she described the benefits of her very strict approach to parenting. She mentioned, for example, how her children were not allowed to come less than first in every subject except drama and PE, and she explained why calling her daughters garbage when they didn’t behave the way she wanted showed the girls how much she cared for them.

View the original article here: Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior

This article quickly became controversial and attracted a lot of comments:

View reader comments

Critical articles, including this one from CNN, were soon published:

”Tiger Mothers’ Leave Lifelong Scars

Another critical article is this rebuttal from a Shanghainese mother:

Chinese Mom: American ‘Tiger Mom’ clueless about real parenting

Here is Amy Chua’s response:

The featured image is a detail view of Yuko Shimizu’s illustration Battle Hymn of Tiger Mother.

What do  you think of the ‘Tiger Mom’ approach to parenting?

Advertisements

11 Comments

  1. In my opinion , although the tiger parents have done many things that are good for the students , they don’t know what their children really need in normal.
    The tiger parents would like their children to try their best to have more achievement in difficult kinds of things . Such as academic results, studying , joining competitions and music . They would also like to compare their children with the other students. However they don’t know that what they did may increase the children’s pressure. This kind of pressure that to given by the parents may affect the children’s study result too.
    Some students may commit suicide when they really can not solve the pressure. Although what the tiger parents did maybe good to the students , we still have to take good care of them and I think health is much important then the result that the parents want .
    Also I think that parents should have good communication with their children. They can know what the children really need after discussing the topic together.
    They can also know more about their children through talking together.
    Different people may have different characteristicand different parents may have different kinds of rules to teach their children. But be attention that the health , the childhood and the memory of the student are much more important.

    1. I know the feeling of being the daughter of a tiger mum because my mum was used to be one .At the past, when I was studied at primary school, my mum always tells me that I will be punished if I can’t get the marks that above 95.I was so scared and worried that if I can’t reach the target. Every night before the examination, I can’t sleep as fast as before and some bad things came to my mind and dream. These days, Hong Kong parents always compare the portfolio and the exam results with others. This may greatly reduce the confidence of children if they can’t get the marks which the parents want ,Although having comparison is good as this can make the students to do better, if the guardian are giving too much pressure on their child, it will only become a situation that neither the child or parents can’t have a good outcome. To have a good result, parents should let the children to choose the suitable study method by their own. The student should be self-discipline and pay more effort on the exam. This can give each other enough space and also can get the great results if the student paying the time and always revise. While having the study, don’t forget to pat attention on your health, relaxation and regular diet. Tiger mum isn’t cruel all the time, they just want their child have good future but they only use the wrong way.

  2. Adopting different type of parenting styles can have a significant impact on their children’s growth and development.

    I agree that authoritarian parenting can help some mother to push up their children’s academic results. However, this kind of strict parenting is more trouble than it is worth. Low self-esteem and poor family relationship can be two of the possible negatives outcomes.

    Tiger mothers are very demanding and lacking appreciation. They want their children to be the best but not try their best. Even getting an A- is also not acceptable because they want their kids to be the perfect one. Corporal punishment might be carried out when they disappointed their mothers. With no appreciation for efforts they make, they have no confidence in solving problems or deal with other matters in their life. They internalized the idea of failure in studying means a loser of life. In this way, they give themselves a low self- value easily, especially for those who are not good at study. Low self- esteem might be caused in result.

    Tiger mothers restrict children’s autonomy. They only put a little effort to communicate with their children and understand their needs, they believe they already make the best choice for them. Their talking is always highly responsive and not warm.
    The hierarchical relationship between adults and children would make the children think their parent do not care about their feeling and not respect them, which contributing to a negative family relationship.

    Therefore, I do not recommend to adopt the Tiger Mothering style.

  3. As the society is very competitive nowadays, most of the parents want their children to improve their competitiveness. They try to ask their children to do revision all the time and arrange a lot of extra-curricular activities and tutorial classes for their children, etc. Although these tiger moms just want their children to have a good portfolio which can help them enter a famous school, and actually it is a good starting point. But I think the parents should consider the feeling of their children. Most of the children feel exhausted with this kind of study method. They don’t have any free time to do what they want. I think I am very lucky that my parents aren’t tiger mom and tiger dad. They have never tried to plan a lot of extra-curricular activities for me and I have never joined any tutorial class but I can still manage my study by myself. I think showing your parents that you can work hard on your study by yourselves is a good way to let them ease up. We should be more self-disciplined if we want to have more free time rather than being occupied by doing revision.

  4. I believe that every mother will want their children win at the starting line and to become a successful person.They give the best things to their children and guidance and care. But this is not the good method of teachiing them in their childhood.It will let them become dependent in thier coming future. It is too strict for them. Don’t plan everything for them. To have a free hand for them to try. Give them choices, or they may loose freedom.

    1. I know the feeling of being a daughter of Tiger Mom, because my mum was a tiger mum before.
      In the past, my mum was strict to me and my brother. She requires us to have marks higher than 95 in every subject when we were studying primary school. She also plans many extra-curricular activities for us every day. We have no time to play at all. When our classmates were chatting of the TV drama in recess, we are doing revision. However, we know that she wants us to be successful in the future. Untill one day, she watched a video on Youtube about an interview of a successful teenager and his mother. She found out that let children think themselves and give them freedom can let them be more independent but planning everything for them and being too strict to them would let them be scared of you and need to ask for permission from you in everything. After that, my mum tried to follow the method of the mum in the video to teach us. Now, me and my brother have a good relationship with my mum and I think she is quite satisified with the performance of us. Therefore, every parent want to give the best thing to their children and hope them to be the best but maybe some parents teaching or caring method is wrong. This may hurt children so if your parents use some ways that you feel bad to teach you, try to communicate with them and tell them your feeling. They actually just want you to be good.

  5. I bvelieve thet every mother will want their children win at the starting line and to become a successful person.They give the best things to their children and guidance and care. But this are not the good method of teachiing them in their childhood.It will let them become dependent in thier coming future. It is too strict for them. Don’t plan everything for them. To have a free hand for them to try. Give them choices, or they may loose freedom.

  6. tiger mom? my mom also!
    but i understand that they just want to teach their children well.
    the problem is just that they did use a bad method to teach children
    all moms should let their children have choices
    even just for choosing his lunch.
    a bit of freedom can really let us happy.
    and also, this can let our relationship between our mom will be better;D

  7. I think that she’s too strict to her children too.Using the same method to the other children may cause some negative effect, like the children will get naughtier in order to get their freedom.If I am her child, I think the relationship between us will be bad:(

  8. To my opinion, I think that the Tiger-Mom is too strict to her children. Thought she is her daughters’ mom, she still don’t have that power to control and set rules for her daughters to follow. If I were her daughters, I would disobey whatever my mother told me to do so as to show my opinion.

  9. Although what the Tiger Mom does is good for her children, the method she uses is wrong. Her children would lose their freedom. They can’t do anything else. They also can do the things that they are interested. Their childwood might not be colourful and have no funs.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s